So close yet so far

So it happened again...I almost became a hockey fan. This has happened perhaps 10-15 times over my 25 years on earth. I sit down and watch a game and think, "Man, this is pretty cool...why don't I watch this all the time." Then I get wrapped up in something whether it be the return of ray bourque to the garden for the last time (I was actually at that game), UMass making it to the frozen four, or most recently the Bruin pushing a game 7 against the montreal canadiens (otherwise known as the Yankees of Canada). Of course, I was let down once again as the bruins get beaten like a rented mule and are forced to settle for eating snow cones made from the shavings created by the Habs goalie. Alas, it was not meant to be. All hope is not lost though, the Red sox swept a four game series against the Texas rangers which is pretty good and they do continue to look better as the season goes on. In other news, I was in the car with elsa this afternoon and she casually looked over and said, "Its such a nice day, I want to drive your car without a top." I thought this was a little forward of her but if she wants to pull a lady godiva on me...who am I to complain. Of course, she meant that she wanted to drive the car without its top...which of course is a bit more reasonable. What was really a bit unreasonable was the movie "300" to which I promised a faithful review. In the interest of full disclosure, I hated the movie Sin City which more than a few people told me was similar to "300." Both being Frank Miller (I think) creations. Actually, I should probably clarify the second to last statement...I hated the plot of sin city...actually I hated the lack of plot in sin city. It was like one neat visual sequence after another and then a shoddy half-assed attempt at linking them together. The movie was brimming with star power which is what first drew me to it but I was soooo let down by the whole thing. On the other hand, it did look cool and 300 looks cool too but in a different way. I watched 300 and all I could think of was that if the ancient greeks had blockbusters, 300 would be to the spartans what independence day was to 14-18 year old boys in the United States. By that I mean, its a hyper action movie with soooo many glossed over intricacies in favor of rock 'em sock 'em action that you really don't notice until after its all over and you say to yourself...what was that. Its also crazily patriotic in that kind of fascist way...but for greeks. Of course, the antagonists in the movie are the persians who are one of three things, androgynous, disfigured, or mindless thugs (actually the "Immortals" reminded me of the "foot soldiers" from TMNT). Its never really explained how a rag tag bunch of freaks and mind numbingly dumb ground pounders got to conquer most of the western world but I guess you don't need to. The other side of things are the Spartans who are led by their king whose physique is like He-man. This of course, could also fit into the same category of movie right along side Independence day and 300 as the most masculine of movies. I mean seriously, "he-man" as if both "he" and "man" were not masculine enough on their own we need to combine them into a single over pumped individual. I'll save the rest of that rant for another post because I really am a fan of he man and want to do him justice. Back to the spartans that all have the physique of a greek god...or i guess a greek soldier but thats somewhat circular. Anyways, they are all in impeccable shape and if they were wearing purple spandex underwear you could see them in the WWF next week. Apparently, in between building great monuments and worshipping at the oracles, the greeks had a lot of time to lift weights and drink protein shakes. Also, I could have sworn in the back I saw Jose Canseco and Brian McNamee...maybe that was just me. I spent most of the movie feeling brutally inadequate at the CGI'd physical prowess being displayed on screen. Of course, that didn't stop me from having two beers and polishing off the last of a box of cheeze-its. There'll be time for the gym next week. My final verdict on the movie...cool to look at but still trying to be too close to history and too far from reality to be of much worth. Patrick OUT!!!

A busy weekend

So events were firing on all cylinders this weekend. Friday night into saturday during the day I went camping. That was a pretty good time with good food and good people and we ended up really lucking out with the weather. While it rained pretty hard on friday night saturday was supposed to be miserable and ended up getting well into the 60s and maybe the 70s which meant that a nice long hike was in order with some pretty clear views of the boston skyline and a little bit of a workout to half replace the time at the gym I didn't get on friday. After that it was out to dinner at the met restaurant at the new natick collection (luckily only my third visit to the mall). Food was pretty good, I ended up having a tuna steak with a wasabi sauce. The tuna was cooked perfectly (with the exception of the last piece that should have been served with mayo on white bread) with just the right amount of charring on the outside but the wasabi sauce was a bit overpowering for the whole dish. If they had toned that down a bit it would have been something to write about (though I guess it was anyways given what i'm doing now). More important to the whole evening was the company. A few friends from highschool and their significant others whom I hadn't seen in a good many years. It was really nice to reconnect a bit and catch up on whats been going on. After a somewhat long night with them, it was up early again and back to the lab. Deli (another member of the lab) gave us a dry run for his PhD qualifying presentation which went alright and so I think his chances of success are good. He presents today and it seems like he is ready to go. After all that it was back home by 4:00 at which point I watched "300." A review of that will be forthcoming this week. Patrick OUT!!!

Tax Time

So I finally did my taxes and let me tell you...I was pleasantly surprised. For the first time in 5 years I am actually getting a small refund. How nice...well only kind of nice. I'm a little bit miffed that they took my money early to begin with but I guess it was a nice surprise. However, this is tainted by having to send a check to the state for money I earned in Arkansas. Thats right, I'm being taxed on the same money TWICE. How is this possible you ask. Well good old taxachusetts is one of the 6 states in the union that actually asserts it right to tax its residents income wherever they make it. They also, of course, tax you if you aren't a resident but make your money here. So...whats the moral of the story. It is really unwise to get a job in massachusetts if you can possibly avoid it. But you already knew that didn't you. In another rediculous development...following my recent birthday, I find myself lacking health insurance for the first time in my life. Essentially in massachusetts this also constitutes a crime on my part and could subject me to a pretty hefty tax penalty if I don't get it fixed before the end of the year. So being that I don't make very much money every year and the state mandates health insurance, I took to looking into my options for getting something subsidized by the state (side note: this was a HUGE part of winning public support for this bill, because health insurance is so damn expensive). At first, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my income level put me into a place where I could get decent coverage for the fairly low premium of $45/month. I was psyched. Of course, I read the fine print...this program was not available if you are a student. I am of course, in the mind of WPI and the state, a full time student. So, even though I draw a salary and no longer take classes...I am a full time student. So where does this leave me? Well I have the option of paying for health insurance through the school mandated health insurance plan. Here's the kicker...the cost of that is more than double the cost of the state subsidized and I get less coverage. So let me sum that up for you again...Pay MORE and get LESS. Ahhhh....this is just GREAT. Essentially, the state is saying that I need to pay a penalty for being a student to the tune of $60 a month. In other words, it would be in my best interest (financially speaking) to quit school and find a job that paid more and gave me health coverage. Moral of the story: Massachusetts doesn't want me to go to school for an advanced degree. Combined morals...massachusetts wants me to quit school and stop working in the state. We have a great system here don't we. Maybe I should listen to them...if you need me, i'll be in my parents basement with a bag of dorritos and watching reruns of Friends...at least my tax bill will be lighter and I won't have to buy insurance. Patrick OUT!!!

The committee to investigate better committee sub-committees

So Jose (a professor in the biochem department...not my advisor but on my committee) came to me last week and asked me if I cared about graduate student life. Seemed like a trick question to me and I told him so but acknowledged that I did care about life on campus (maybe he just needed further confirmation that I am not a sociopath). After that he said he wanted to recommend me to be a part of the Campus Community Committee and asked if it was alright if he put my name in. I agreed with very limited information and just a few days later got an email from the committee chair asking me to call her. Side note: I hate when you get an email that says to call...why not just tell me what you need to tell me in the original email. Save us both some time. Nevertheless, I called her. She was quite pleasant but seemed a little bit clueless. She asked if I had any questions and I, of course, did. The following is a loosely recorded transcript of our conversation.
Me: " What is the point of the committee...what are its goals, aspirations, dreams, hopes, fears."
Her: "Well the committee is the result of a mandate from President Berkey and we are still figuring out what that means, but generally it is meant to address community issues."
Me: "OK, so we have a committee that is going to decide what the purpose of the committee is."
Her: "Well yes...but not the whole committee, we are going to have a sub-committee to decide the goals for the larger committee."
Me: "Oh, well that makes more sense...any ideas what might be on the agenda?
Her: "Some things that were brought up at the first meeting in relation to graduate students were: race and gender issues, grad student housing, access to writing workshops, etc etc."
Me: "Am I the ONLY grad student on this committee"
Her: "Is that OK with you?"
Me: "Sure is. I mean I can't think of anyone better to talk about those issues than a white male, who speaks english as his first language and lives at home. I should fit right in and have lots of insight into the issues that effect our grad students."
Her: "Great, I'm so excited we have a meeting in a month"
Me: "OK, is that the sub-committee or the main committee?"
Her:"Let me check with the rest of the committee then i'll send you an email and we can talk about it over the phone."
Me: "Sounds great...looking forward to it"
So here I am. The lone grad student member of the no-purpose committee to deal with community issues that I don't have and really issues that aren't community at all. Everything she listed was really an individual issue. It should really be the committee to evaluate the needs of special interest groups. A community issue is something like poverty, high cost of living, available health insurance, etc. But who am I to split hairs over stuff like that. More updates to follow on the immense progress that I'm sure we're going to make. Patrick OUT!!!

Sore Loser

So I finally joined a gym. Its been a long time coming and I had bene putting it off but I suppose that now is the right time. Perhaps its getting a year older thats doing it or maybe something else but I feel like this time its for real. Much like the other 2 (okay more like 5-7) times that I've started out a gym regimen, I feel like crap. Usually it only lasts for a few days but man it is aweful. I always know its coming after that first really tough workout but this time it was a bitch and a half. Luckilly, its just about gone now so it should be more or less smooth sailing from here on out with only moderate pain and soreness for a few days after. In other news, I also officially lost my bracket pool. Actually, its not news...I lost close to a week ago. My theory as to the connection between the proportion of graduate students to basketball sucess was only marginaly sucessful. It predicted reasonably well for the first two rounds and then totally collapsed in the regionals. Of some note however, if my theory was applied to the final four matchups it would have sucessfully predicted that Memphis and Kansas would have prevailed with ratios of 0.33 and 0.26 respectively. With that in mind, I predict that Kansas will be the victor in tonights contest. Kansas had the second lowest proportion (after UNLV) in its division and Memphis had the third lowest (after oregon and michigan state). All told, of 63 games played I picked 32 correctly which is just over a 50% success rate. Next year, a coin flip might suffice and would probably be easier. Off to nurse my muscles and my pride. Patrick OUT!!!

Why can't we get sportscasters like that?

So it finally happened. WBZ, after 30 years, has had enough of Bob Lobel. To be honest, I've had more than enough of Bob Lobel for some time. As a frequent contributor to Patriots broadcasts both on television and radio and as a guest on my preferred talk radio station to talk about all things sports...I should probably like him. He is obviously a fan of my sports teams...he cares about their success and he can talk to any personality he likes and get the inside story. But...I can't get it out of my head that he constantly sounds like a drunk or a stoner. I am all about social drinking and I even favor the legalization of marijuana but it occurs to me now that there should be a caveat to such policies. My law would be written as such..."No person involved in the broadcast of news or sports shall do so under the influence of any controlled substances." I mean seriously, Bob Lobel is sometimes so unintelligable I can sit with my mouth agape in awe at how a station manager could let someone so far from being lucid onto the air. It got even better when he was paired with a Dan Shaughnessy or a Steve Burton who I think were almost as surprised as me that they let this fool on the air without his meds. Even with all this, WBZ dealt with his crap for a good many years...so why now. Well it seems that it was a cost-cutting maneuver on their part...flushing out the old guard to be replaced with a cheaper younger, polished crew. Or perhaps it was something more, a new WBZ random drug testing policy...coupled with the station wanting to save the old man some dignity in his waning broadcast years. Now, if we could just get rid of cedric maxwell from those celtics games and if tommy heinsohn could quit it with the obnoxious tommy points. I kept thinking, do people really keep track of this shit...is there a tommy point leader board (answer: Yes, www.tommypoints.com)? Supposedly, he gives them out for risking life and limb for the better of the team. Come to think of it, I watched a bunch of games in the old garden in the mid-90s...don't i deserve a tommy point for that. Or how about the games I watched last season...my head covered in shame as I left the building or the risk to life and limb upon asking the bartender to put on the "C"s. By my count, being a celtics fan over the last decade entitles you to at least 500 tommy points...more if you bought season tickets at any point in that period. We'll give you a plus 50 if your fondest memories in celtics history involves any part of Dee Brown winning the slam dunk contest or if you were born after 1986 and are still a fan. On the other side, -50 points if you ever considered rooting for the pistons just because Bird went there or if you ever considered lobbying for the return of chris ford or rick pitino to the coaching staff. Maybe bob lobel could go down to philly and cover mr. ford again for a time or if that doesn't work out...I heard that High Times magazine needs a sports editor. Patrick OUT!!!

Father Knows Best

So I recently saw an article in the New York Times that talked about the benefits of having a child experience alcoholic beverages in the home before the age of 21. I am a strong proponent of this and really see it as vital to bringing up a responsible young adult capable of dealing with the pressures of excess. My own personal experience from being in school and seeing two sides of this issue form the basis for my opinion on the matter. It always seemed to me that those freshman or otherwise who came from overly restrictive homes (in relation to alcohol) were the ones who drank to get drunk exclusively and otherwise abused the new found liberation of the college drinking scene. Those who were brought up with responsible drinking in the home by and large had less issue. I am certain that the reason behind it all is that there is really only two ways to view alcohol consumption. The first is that the purpose of wine, beer or otherwise is to get yourself inebriated or as self-medication for ones inability to deal with the trials and tribulations of being a person. The second view is that these things comprise a key part of "the good life." As such, they should be enjoyed but only to the end that they comprise a part of that ideal for consumption and not by any means as a way of getting wasted. Of course, your average college student probably doesn't think about it in those terms but the particular mores and norms associated with alcohol are most certainly shaped by one's family life before college and these two scenarios definitely come into play. Having been party to responsible drinking before the age of 21 (gasp!!!) I can say that I think it made me much more responsible with alcohol after the age of 21. I know some of my readers are now thinking to themselves, "Pat...thats just because you don't remember when it didn't work out that way." I of course don't have a response to that except to say that those instances were few and far between...I think. So perhaps, I am not really the best judge of this particular theory but in my own defense...I have never been arrested (for alcohol or otherwise), driven drunk, or put myself into any serious physical danger whilst under the influence. I have however, had a lot of really good times and been able to enjoy that "good life." I suppose what it all comes down to is a lesson in parenting from someone who is not yet a parent. But of course never being afraid to give advice where it is neither asked for or needed...give your kids a drink and they won't drive you to. I also think that the drinking age should be lowered to 18 or ideally removed entirely...but thats a post for another day entirely. Patrick OUT!!!

March Madness 2

So Easter weekend came and went. I managed to not go into the lab for a second straight weekend which is pretty good I think. If things go well this week, I might make it three in a row this coming weekend. All in all things have been pretty low key except for the NCAA tournament now being in full swing. I completed my bracket based on the number of graduate students a given school has. A quick recap, my picks focused around the ratio of graduate student to undergraduates with lower ratios winning out over higher ratios but schools without any graduate students never winning. Given that criteria, I managed to predict at a rate of 72% correct for the first round and also pick more than 50% (4/7) of the underdog victories. Unfortunately the second round has been less kind. Of my remaining 23 teams following the first round...only 7 have survived into the sweet 16 which comes out to a prediction rate of only 43%. Additionally, only 2 of my final 4 teams still remain, Washington State and Michigan State (which have ratios of 0.21 and 0.23 respectively). While I haven't looked at the actual vegas odds for such a final match-up...after doing some quick mental math I would estimate it at approximately 376,592:1 odds that those two teams will form the match-up for the championship game.

In other news, I finally bought a suit for Em's wedding. Really a pretty painless experience, walked in and in just a mere 45 minutes I was out of there with the suit being tailored as I write this. There is a real utility to having men's clothing be based on measurements and for certain styles to always be there. A large selection quickly becomes mangeable when one can quickly eliminate large swaths of items for one of a variety of reasons. I ended up with a fairly classic three-button chalk stripe gray suit with subtle peak lapels and a single vent. The pants were pleated but they are fairly small so i can deal with it. I think it should look nice...assuming the tailor does his job. In other news, there might be a trip to bangkok in my future. In planning this trip to China over the summer, Elsa found some pretty stellar deals on hotels and flights through some chinese travel agency which was really good because things were getting expensive pretty quickly. In addition to running things to beijing (one of our primary travel goals)...they also run trips to thailand which is really cool as well. Since we don't need visas to go there it really isn't any more work to head on over and explore a bit. I think Elsa is probably pretty excited to be going someplace where I don't have a major axe to grind with the government. Of course, I don't know much about Thai politics so there is still time for that to happen. : ) Anyways, more on all that later...Patrick OUT!!!

White People Like...

Heres a link to a blog I found a while back and have been meaning to post.

Stuff White People Like

Its exactly as it sounds. He has a pretty comprehensive list of things that white people do in deed like. Of the 90 items currently listed, I would say that I like 42 of them or approximately 46%. At first I thought, "Damn it I am soooo white...what a cliche I must be living." Of course then i figured that its taken me this far might as well just keep on with it. So with that, I am probably going to be putting a down payment on the new prius before going to see Juno for the fifth time after meeting up with my gay friends for sushi at the little japanese restaurant thats right next to the quaint little coffee shop and breakfast place I like to go to and read the sunday new york times. ahhh...i feel right at home now. Anyways, check the list out and let me know how you score. Patrick OUT!!!

March Madness

So its that time of year again when the snow has finally started to melt away and the sound of birds can once again be heard echoing through the newly flowering trees. Unfortunately, the other thing we have now started to hear echoing is the voice of the inimitable dick vitale. The voice of college basketball and the NCAA tournament is back BABY. Another year of listening to his rants about the quality of the Duke program and coach K...when they aren't even playing. They made the tournament this year...again and as a #2 seed no less. I hope they lose. Don't get me wrong, they have a strong tradition but they are the yankees of college hoops and just the fact that I can reasonably make such a comparison means they must be despised to their very core. Of course, when I fill out my bracket they will do well...not because I favor them but because I know better than to fill it out on tilt. However, my pick for the end...the other ACC powerhouse, North Carolina. Sure, i've only seen two of their games this year but I can already tell that they are going to win it all...its a lock. UMass didn't make the tournament this year, which is good because now I don't feel the obligatory alumni response of pushing them exactly one round further than they could ever be expected to get. There are a few new teams in the tourney this year though and I figure if I've never heard of the school then what are the chances of them actually winning. I mean seriously, is UMBC actually expected to go anywhere or Coppin St., I have absolutely no idea where that even is. I think that all state schools should have at least somewhere in their name, the state that they represent. Another surprise for me was Oral Roberts University, which together with occidental should, in my mind, turn out the finest dentists and orthodontists in the world. In stead they turn out religious right conservatives and california uber-liberals...ahhhhh, the worst of both worlds and neither one has a dental school. Furthermore, neither is going to win the big dance this year. Anyways, we started a pool for the lab /office so people can get their gambling fix in regardless of what deval patrick and sal demassie figure out. I still need to fill out my bracket and I'm thinking about filling it out based solely on the number of graduate students they have. Those with lower percentages of grad students indicate to me that their focus lies elsewhere...like in basketball. Thus the number of grad students is directly proportional to the importance of graduate research to the administration and thus inversely proportional to the quality of the athletic program for a good example see WPI Div III champions in lots of stuff. The inverse being UMass...lots of grad students but a somewhat lackluster athletic program ( I know the swimming team and gymnastics teams are both top notch but nobody really pays attention to them anyways.) Following the tournament, an update will follow as to how my strategy turned out relative to random guessing and picking higher seeds. Patrick OUT!!!

Chuck Norris is BACK

In a crazy mixed up place like Iraq...there apparently is one ounce of sanity and its name is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris in Iraq

The last line is by far the best thing I have ever seen in a reuters news article and truly sage advice for not just the Iraqis but for us ALL. Patrick OUT!!!

Playoff Odds

Kevin Garnett Shoots the Ball
Originally uploaded by interbasket

So last night the Celtics won against the Pistons and in the process have gained the first clinched playoff spot. First of all this is absurd and its really an oddity in professional sports. The NBA has a playoff scheme with less sense than some fraternity beer pong tournaments. Here's how it goes...the top 8 teams from each conference (there are two for you non-sports fans) make it to the playoffs. As I do my math...thats 16 teams vying for a championship. Heres the catch...there are only 30 teams TOTAL. Thus, the entire season doesn't even eliminate half the teams from contention. In my mind...this would be like the presidential primaries going on for 8 months only to eliminate Dennis Kucinich and Tom Vilsack. Just isn't satisfying...I want to see people go down in flames and other really fight to win as they teeter just on the edge of contention. Why do we bother with a season at all...why not just extend a playoff bracket all the way to the beginning and seed teams based on last years performance. Ok, so I don't really believe thats a good idea but I think it would save a lot of time. But seriously, if they playoffs started today the celtics would be playing the NJ Nets who dont even have a winning record. If you can't manage to win even half your games over the course of a season then why should you ever be considered a contender for the championship. My solution...turn the NBA playoffs into the NFL playoffs. Each division winner (3 per conference) and then a wild card team. That brings down you numbers to only 8 total teams in the playoffs which means we eliminate 70% during the regular season...thereby giving people a reason to watch the regular season. I'm kind of feeling like...we have now played just over 70% of the season...so why not just give our team a rest for 20 games or so to get really refreshed for the playoffs while the rest of the rif-raf duke it out for the remaining 15 spots. Go Big Baby!!! Patrick OUT!!!

How does this even happen

So it all comes down to not so super tuesday. John McCain will almost certainly clinch his nomination for the GOP and hillary and barack with duke it out for potentially the final time. I think the rest of the world would agree that under no circumstances should Texas and Ohio be involved in really deciding the outcome of an election. I saw yesterday on the news the department of commerce estimated that Ohio has the 7th largest GDP in the country and the 17th largest in the world falling somewhere in between the netherlands and belgium. In addition, Ohio is the nations leading producer of swiss cheese (according to their department of commerce). I'm not sure why they would admit to such a thing...a clearly defective fromage if I've ever seen one developed by a nation that can't take a stance on anything except suspicious banking practices. Now if they were the leading producer of american cheese in all its orange, melty, individually wrapped goodness then I might be able to get behind their power over the political system. If there was ever a more appropriately named national food than American cheese, i've never heard of it. I mean seriously it a hyper processed amalgamation of cheeses with foreign heritages melded together and then individually packaged and sold. Further than that...the color...orange is not a cheese color. BUT...its not always orange...sometimes its white which kind of makes sense. Kind of like americans...they don't always fit into categories but you know one when you see one. I guess my tirarde on the societal implications and clear metaphors regarding processed dairy products can wait until later (i haven't even touched on cool whip yet). But seriously, why Ohio and Texas? Hasn't texas done enough already? Shouldn't they have their say removed for a while...like a punishment. I mean really Tex...you did alright with LBJ and all but then we get dubya...i think that deserves at the very least a "time out" in the corner so you can think about what you've done. Don't get me wrong here...I don't think my home state is doing much better in the political arena...Romney was less than spectacular and dukakis was somewhat embarassing (to say nothing of TEDDY). Going back a few years we did have JFK hailing form the Bay State buts its been kind of downhill since then and I'm not sure we can claim to be number one in anything except maybe, "Most Dropped R's per capita". And then of course, most NBA championships all time, most NHL playoff appearances all time, and most NFL and MLB championshipsin the last 5 years. That makes me feel better. Patrick OUT!!!

How Does This Happen

So it all comes down to not so super tuesday. John McCain will almost certainly clinch his nomination for the GOP and hillary and barack with duke it out for potentially the final time. I think the rest of the world would agree that under no circumstances should Texas and Ohio be involved in really deciding the outcome of an election. I saw yesterday on the news the department of commerce estimated that Ohio has the 7th largest GDP in the country and the 17th largest in the world falling somewhere in between the netherlands and belgium. In addition, Ohio is the nations leading producer of swiss cheese (according to their department of commerce). I'm not sure why they would admit to such a thing...a clearly defective fromage if I've ever seen one developed by a nation that can't take a stance on anything except suspicious banking practices. Now if they were the leading producer of american cheese in all its orange, melty, individually wrapped goodness then I might be able to get behind their power over the political system. If there was ever a more appropriately named national food than American cheese, i've never heard of it. I mean seriously it a hyper processed amalgamation of cheeses with foreign heritages melded together and then individually packaged and sold. Further than that...the color...orange is not a cheese color. BUT...its not always orange...sometimes its white which kind of makes sense. Kind of like americans...they don't always fit into categories but you know one when you see one. I guess my tirarde on the societal implications and clear metaphors regarding processed dairy products can wait until later (i haven't even touched on cool whip yet). But seriously, why Ohio and Texas? Hasn't texas done enough already? Shouldn't they have their say removed for a while...like a punishment. I mean really Tex...you did alright with LBJ and all but then we get dubya...i think that deserves at the very least a "time out" in the corner so you can think about what you've done. Don't get me wrong here...I don't think my home state is doing much better in the political arena...Romney was less than spectacular and dukakis was somewhat embarassing (to say nothing of TEDDY). Going back a few years we did have JFK hailing form the Bay State buts its been kind of downhill since then and I'm not sure we can claim to be number one in anything except maybe, "Most Dropped R's per capita". And then of course, most NBA championships all time, most NHL playoff appearances all time, and most NFL and MLB championships in the last 5 years. That makes me feel better. Patrick OUT!!!

Back at Last

So I watched my first baseball game of the new season today. Really a magical moment every spring (i know its not quite spring yet but still) when the memories of football season have started to finally fade and something new most come to take its place. While the celtics are doing as well as I have ever seen them, baseball will always be something a bit more. To see them on TV is also something of a constant that I need again. Its like an old friend that is always there for you...usually predictable but punctuated with moments of excitement that keep you coming back. To some degree this week has been about old friends for me. After meeting up with someone from my past whom I hadn't seen in eight years or so, it really got me thinking about where I've been in the last eight years and how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. A good chance to reevaluate things and take stock. Perhaps the draining winter months play a part as well but it was certainly a bittersweet moment through and through. On a much shorter time scale my best friend asked me to be his best man which is quite an honor and I'm certainly looking forward to all that it brings my way as both a challenge and an opportunity. Furthermore, i hope that in the coming months I can reconnect with people like I have not done in the past and really make an effort to reach out to some people whom I have unfortunately left out of my life. With that said and a promise made to myself in that light it is also worthy to note that we are approaching (technically i guess it already started) WPI's spring break this week. Not so much of a break for me perse but it is a marker of time passed and a harbinger of the ending school year. Of course, this means that the undergrads I have had the privelage of working with these past few months will be leaving. Jobs for some, more school for others. That too, unlike most other years, will be bittersweet. As they go, for the first time, I feel like I have had some influence over their futures maybe taught a few of them a thing or two they just might use and hopefully made them better and more thoughtful scientists in the process. While I had all but sworn off the realm of academia as the provider of my future employment, I find myself reconnecting a bit to its higher ideals. I wonder if the point of it all is not necessarilly making ground breaking a lucrative scientific discoveries and if maybe I would find more joy and empowerment in the knowledge that I was passing on a scientific tradition to others. While I haven't quite sold myself on the idealized rhetoric of the college viewbook ilk...i can no longer count it out entirely. Perhaps, I've been listening to too much Obama but maybe a bit of my cynicism will melt away this spring. Of course, if the red sox stage a monumental collapse in august...all bets are off in that department. Patrick OUT!

Choices

So I figure I have two choices for this entry. I can either write about the political drama that is quickly unfolding before our eyes or I can write a review of Jumper. Being that I saw jumper more than a week ago, i'm not sure I could really do this film the justice that its scathing review really deserves. What I will say is that it was an hour and half of an insult to celluloid. Seriously, if I was a film roll and my fate was to be printed with the likes of Jumper...I would be totally pissed right now. That said, it may be both hayden christianson's finest performance and perhaps sam jackson's worst. That not withstanding, sam jackson is still better than hayden...though not by much. In short...this movie SUCKS.

On to the political season of a lifetime. Clinton vs. Obama...steel cage match of a lifetime. I watched the big debate on tuesday between these two democratic demagogues and I was thoroughly impressed. Not so much by either candidate but by a political process that allows for a neoliberal neophyte like the big O to go so far without so much as a clue as to what he is really doing. I am really blown away by the sheer number of voters out there who are eating his "hope for america" and "america's soul needs fixing" stuff for breakfast. It reeks of jonestown and the peoples temple but on a massive scale. No end game in sight...no need he is going to walk away with the nomination and just might stroll into office. I remember an SNL clip (unfortunately I couldn't find it on YouTube this time), wherein Mike Dukakis is listening to George H.W. Bush in a "debate" and remarking..."I can't believe I'm loosing to this guy." I think it followed some lines about "staying the course" and "thousand points of light" or some bullshit like that. If you replace...those "thousand points of light" with "change we can believe in" you have barack obama with a bad haircut and a more palatable spouse. Normally, I wouldn't pick on the family of a candidate...unless that candidates last name rhymed with "blinton" and then of course all bets are off. BUT...Michelle Obama kills me...not proud of america until just now. I mean maybe she means politically but even still...what about all the great politicians of the past. Even as a liberal...she must be a little proud of reagan and the end of the cold war in 1989. She is old enough to remember when MLK was alive and the great advances made politically during that time. The passage of the civil rights acts of 1964 and 1968. Neil Armstrong on the moon in 1969 etc. It is really a sad state of affairs when a candidates family is willing to sell out the accomplishments of a country for a cheap political ploy. But back to the main event...Barack. Where did this guy even come from...he has no right to be a successful candidate. In any other election year he would have been out many months ago but this year the rules are seemingly a bit different and he is the benefactor of that change. Had America changed...i don't think so. I think they are being fooled and will quickly be made fools of when he is allowed into office. I am no fan of hillary but I can acknowledge that she is intelligent and a leader with a track record of achievement. I disagree with her on most everything but I understand why she is a viable candidate and could understand her presidency. Obamas got nothing but the support of limousine liberals and short sighted college kids who have become so wrapped up in his speech that they forget about the substance of it all. The debate makes it clear...hillary tries and tries to poke holes in barack's armor bestowed upon him by the media and political elites but to no avail. He makes her look foolish without ever saying a thing. How frustrating must it be to know you haven't a snowballs chance in hell to win a race that you should be winning...if logic was still the rule. Meanwhile McCain sits back and waits for his opponent and he must be worried...watching what is happening to the clinton campaign machine...perhaps the most well oiled and battle tested of them all. It would take a "vast right wing conspiracy" to defeat obama now. Maybe hillary should have been focusing more on gaining a vast left wing conspiracy back in '98...then she might not be in such a bind today. I guess it comes down to Ohio and Texas but even those are looking increasingly out of reach for the she-devil. I guess we are too far past the old "ask not what your country can do for you." We've moved on to "ask not what your candidate can do for you but ask what you can do for your candidate." My answer...not much. Patrick OUT!!

Registered Gift Offender

So my sisters (and my fathers) birthday was this past week. She is getting married in June and so for this birthday we had the benefit of a gift registry to figure out what she really wanted. There could really be nothing easier and it is a sure bet for a good gift. This got me thinking...why don't people have gift registries all the time. Its acceptable for weddings and perhaps for baby's and stuff like that so why not have a birthday registry. It really seems like the most pragmatic way to do business. I figure I should start a constantly updated registry that would be open to the world. Thus, anytime someone wanted to show their adoration, admiration, or appreciation...they could look at the registry and pick out the perfect gift or I guess to be more precise they would purchase the gift that I had already decided on as being the perfect gift. I'm really taking the time out of my own busy schedule to make it easier for other people to buy me things. That in and of itself is probably worth a gift here and there. Of course with any registry you run into that unavoidable problem of figuring out how much people want to spend. Of course there is always the big ticket item for that long lost billionaire third cousin twice removed that now wants to reconnect through material goodness (i'm still waiting on that one). For them I would probably have something like this

but I would have it in black...goes better with my eyes.
I also think it would be a neat opportunity to indulge and perhaps expose some of the more obscure desires (i'm not talking fetishes here...though that might be an option for some). More like the overwhelming desire to have three pounds of red, green and yellow skittles in 5:4:3 ratio thereby creating the most delicisous combination in every bite and also allowing for the easy creation of a gigantic right triangle with monochromatic sides (look it up). It would also serve to eliminate those gifts that I clearly dont want. Like www.starregistry.com . I mean seriously...naming a star after someone??? Who falls for this? Do they really believe there is a registry for star names and that for the rest of eternity scientists and school children will be remembering the name Nancy Joe Watson in the Upsilon prime nebula. I think not... Furthermore who buys that sort of thing...its almost like one of those, " a donation was made in your name to..." Except in this case it would read, " A donation was made in your name to a crack pot company of dubious repute for the fictitious naming of a star in an international registry which is only international because the money goes to an american and the call is taken by an underpaid worker in bangladesh...have a great day." To those people I say...forget about naming a star after me or anyone else...focus on visiting it yourself. Patrick OUT!!!

Presidents Day

So tomorrow is Presidents Day. Of course, I don't get that day off because WPI is rather miserly with not only holidays but also weather cancellations. You would think in a city like worcester with its massive hills that we would have more frequent weather closings...alas it is not meant to be. Back to the original subject: Presidents Day...i'm actually not all that upset about not getting this monday holiday off. In my mind, this amongst all the major monday federal holidays is the least deserving of a day off. Seriously people...who celebrates presidents day besides used car salesmen. Are there any families out there that all gather around to remember the greatness of george washington and abe lincoln. Does anyone light two candles in remembrance or sing presidential carols around a replica white house shrub...I think not (though they might be traditions i would start in my own family). I totally understand things like memorial day and veterans day...people go and do things on those days and its right to give people the day off to memorialize those who came before us and defended our country. Martin Luther King Day...certainly an important holiday for personal reflection on this nations sordid past. Even Labor day makes sense...leave it to the unions to celebrate the power of the labor movement by taking a random day off for a long weekend...how brutally ironic and yet seemingly appropriate. Columbus day gets me a little bit...i never could understand why only the capitol of ohio gets its own holiday, or do i misinterpret things here??? But Presidents day...i think not. And really if there is going to be a presidents day we need to specify who we are talking about. Washington and Lincoln day makes a bit more sense. "Presidents" is just too vague for my liking...it leaves too much to personal interpretation. Do we really want a federal holiday that could be mistaken for endorsing the administrations of Millard Fillmore, Frankling Pierce, and James Buchanon. I will now take a moment to appologize to my readers who are also members of the Franklin Pierce fan club...i mean no disrespect and I'll be at the regular meeting next thursday. Anyone else interested we meet at VFW post 697 right after the womens AA meetings. Patrick OUT!!!

Movie Review: AvP

So last night, after getting back from dinner with Elsa. The two of us and her roomates watched perhaps the finest cinematic gem of the last half century. I am of course referring to the classic romantic comedy...Alien vs. Predator. I know some of you may be saying, " But Patrick...AvP is not a romantic comedy." To you I say, of course its a romantic comedy. Furthermore, I would argue that it is the archetypical romantic comedy. A fine merging of two classic genres into two seamless hours of movie gold. Of course, I take romance in the sense of classical european definition being characterized by Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur and of course the seminal Beowulf. As I'm sure you've probably guessed...I take comedy in the more modern sense as exemplified in the classic Farrelly brothers farce "There's Something About Mary." In other words, it was HILARIOUS. Now for a plot summary. The movie begins realistically enough with the discovery of a massive pyramid under the arctic. While this may seem a bit uninspired to some of you, I can assure you without giving much plot away that this is no ordinarry underground arctic pyramid we are dealing with here. A team of heroic arctic archaeologists (which must be a lonely gig when you aren't discovering alien temples) begins to explore buried pyramid through a mysterious hole in the ground near an abandoned whaling station. A call them heros here because only a movie hero would venture 300 feet down a hole that appeared over night without the thought of calling the rest of civilization for input on the matter. Once down within the pyramid structure they find a mixture of egyptian, aztec, and mayan symbols which is really the first major revelation of the film. I know I was always taught that these people were located on two distant continents while in fact they were united in antarctica the whole time. Once you think about it, it makes perfect sense that people from the hottest part of the planet would undertake massive construction projects deep below an ice shelf in the arctic. Why nobody thought of this before AvP, I will never know. Come to find out the mayans and egyptions were taught how to build pyramids by the predators who were subsequently treated like gods. Again this makes perfect sense. Picture yourself in the mesoamerica of classical antiquity and appearing from the sky comes a ship of some sort carrying a masked creature with dreadlocks. Said creature teaches you to pile stones up into big shapes for years on end for his own personal enjoyment...would you not be totally enthralled by his very presence and treat him as a king. I know I would...because if I didn't I would probably end up with a giant predator scythe coming through my abdomen. More on that later. After our intrepid explorers decode years of mayan history from the temple walls, it turns out that the predators desire the ultimate hunt and thus breed aliens that need humans as a host. Again this makes perfect sense, aliens from a different planet need humans to reproduce. I don't want to get into the chicken and egg thing here but i think that the movie was written by some intelligent design folks because this system just works despite reasoning and logic. So after having my faith in evolution destroyed and my sense of history shattered, the movie stuns us again when one by one main characters are slaughtered by either aliens or predators but then makes a total turn when we discover that actually the predators are our friends and are really pretty damn cool. I mean out of all the aliens you could have a pan-galactic garglebaster with...predators are clearly the bloodthirsty extraterestrial of choice. Skipping forward a bit, last surviving human and last surviving predator team up to kill mother alien. After all that the predator dies and some others come to take his body away and leave the lone human in the arctic alone. This was really the disappointing part...after 2 hours of epic movie the clearly relies on scientific fact and sound reason...how on earth are we supposed to believe that this woman survives on her own in the arctic. That is just absurd and to be honest it ruined the last 5 minutes of the movie for me.
In short, go see AvP! Patrick OUT!

Valentine's Day

I'm going to do my best to not sounds like a stick in the mud but...I really don't like valentine's day. If there was ever anything so pure as a loving relationship between two people...why ruin that with an overly commercialized over hyped sell-out one day a year holiday. I mean really, if your relationship boils down to a specific day each year where you and your significant other judge each one another, then there are some serious issues. Don't even get me started on people who propose on valentine's day. Is there anything more anti-romantic than popping the big question on a day that someone else (in this case the decidedly unromantic catholic church) decided on years ago. In a silly attempt to get people to be personal with one another it has become the most impersonal of holidays. I suppose it all starts back in elementary school when everyone gets a candy and card from everyone else. I think somebody missed the point there...its a little communist if you ask me. Does it bother anyone else that the predominant color is RED. Furthermore as a guy, imagine what would have happened if I had followed the advice of my beloved grade school teachers and given valentines indiscriminately to everyone I knew. In this day and age of sexual harassment and unwelcomed advances I would probably be put in jail for such denial of proper valentine's etiquette. If I were a young woman (please note that this phrase will never again be written in this blog for any reason...EVER), and a gentleman suitor came to woo me on valentine's day I would be a bit suspicious. Here comes a man with chocolates in hand trying to make up for 364 (365 this year) other days this year when he didn't do such things. Should I then bow down and say...oh, I knew it was worth putting up with his crap for this one day when I would be showered with flowers and heart shaped boxes of chocolates. My answer..."NO". I would much rather a spouse who was of only mediocre quality every day than an idiot who put on a romantic flair one day a year. With that in mind and in the spirit of full disclosure; after work today... I'm buying flowers and chocolate. Nobody's perfect. Patrick OUT!