Dad's Day Dinner

Today being fathers day, the family went out for dinner. To protect the innocent I'm not going to say where we went but I am going to give a recap of the experience.
To start off, we met our hostess who must have been on some sort of medication (or should have been) because she was moving at about 300 miles an hour in her seating duties. Of course we waited to be seated so I'm guessing it was all just a bunch of hand waving. After about 15 minutes they called us over and showed us to our table. On the way there we passed through a veritable zoo of young children. I should say that as a general principle I am all about some day having children but every so often I get an experience like this where I question my own sanity for thinking like that.
Of course it wasn't just the children that were in this particular zoo. A grown woman staning at her own recently vacated table as her family walks away...devouring the very last traces of her oreo ice cream dessert thing. I can only hope that she never goes over seas because she will be the new reason that the rest of the world thinks awful things about americans. As we passed her, I made sure to keep my arms close to my body for fear that they might get too close to her mouth.
Finally we sat and were greated by our very capable server with a very pronounced accent and loose grasp of idiomatic speech. We placed our orders for both food and drink at the same time. We then waited for around 20 minutes before salads came...in WARM BOWLS. I hate the salads in warm bowl thing...they should always be in COLD bowls or at the very least room temperature bowls. These things came right out of the dishwasher and were immediately filled.
About 30 minutes later (not exagerating) we finally got our drinks. This consisted of two beers, one cocktail, and a juice. Then we also had 4 waters with it as well. How many straws would you think we needed for all that. Our waitress thought that nine was a good number. Straw for water...check. Straw for beer...check. Extra straw...check. Did I use the straw for my beer you ask? Yup...best to not let things go to waste.
Then our food came (minus an appetizer that we ordered)...everything was pretty good so that was a bright spot. Service was continually slow and the whole thing took almost two hours. Yikes...not going there again any time soon. Patrick OUT!!!