Cat Predicts 50 Deaths in RI

Apparently a cat in Rhode Island has "predicted" 50 deaths at a nursing home near Brown University. This seems a bit suspicious to me. They say that the cat might be able to detect the smell of ketones given off my dying cells. I think this is all a conspiracy by cat apologists to cover-up a more sinister plot. This cat is KILLING people. We need to stop it before it does in any more elderly patients. At the very least put one of those house arrest ankle bracelets on it as a collar. Furthermore, it might be worth while to try and convert the cat to using its powers for good...maybe send it to Afghanistan. Go! Get the Taliban Sgt. Sprinkles! Patrick OUT!!!

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