Watch yourself

 

Scientists Warn Christmas lights harm the planet

 

In light of my recent posts on the placing of Christmas lights, I would just like to say that not all scientists are TOTAL IDIOTS. There is something to be said for tempering one’s views for purely rhetorical purpose. As science struggles with the modern ethics of humanity, (i.e. stem cells, animal testing, cloning etc), we get these idiots who decide that now is the time to make an essentially political statement that is just unnecessary. I am all for preserving the environment and all, I think it’s a nice idea and something that people should take seriously. However, I also believe that PEOPLE and their HAPPINESS are far more important. If having Christmas lights out for a month a year makes people happy then they should do it. If they feel bad about the energy they are using (note: this is not wasting energy because this does serve a valid purpose…it makes me feel good) then they should unplug a couple of lights for the rest of the year or go camping for a week in the summer and live in the woods without any power at all, whatever makes them happy. But to threaten Christmas light users with the dire predictions of global warming is irresponsible science of the highest caliber. It is the fundamental flaw of science and academics in that we forget that with all the grand ideals of advancing society on an intellectual level, that society is just a collection of individuals who desire not much more than to be happy and that even in a twisted far off way, the goal of science and the intellectual advancement is really the satisfaction and preservation of humanity. Ideas and intelligence garnered through rational inquiry are a gift to society for the purpose of universal fulfillment. These people should remember that science does not exist in a vacuum. Merry Christmas. Patrick OUT!!!

Sometimes I wonder

 

So I get into the lab this morning and my advisor (boss) comes in a bit after me all in a huff. An experimental bioreactor (fermentor) has not been functioning properly and she is going crazy. I ask what went wrong, assuming it was a leak of some sort or an equipment malfunction…she wispers, “I’m not sure but I think its sabotage.” To which I reply, “Are you friggin nuts…that is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.” Ok, so I didn’t say that but I was thinking it. I chose to be more tactful and reply, “Oh bother…thats bloody awful (in my best English accent).” Ok, so I didn’t really say that, or anything for that matter, in favor of looking at her in stunned silence trying to hide my aching disbelief. I’m not sure at what point in a scientists career they choose to disregard logic but apparently she has reached it. Furthermore, she said this has happened before…RIIIGGGHHTTT. My goodness, I hope I never reach that point. I mean seriously, we work in a fairly secure building (card access all around), who is going to come into a random lab and a random room and mess with a particular knob MULTIPLE TIMES? The answer…no one. Because no one cares about this bioreactor nor should they. The only lesson I learn from this is that when my experiments don’t work now, instead of blaming myself for lack of ingenuity or insight…its going to be sabotage by malicious lab gnomes. Little gremlins hiding my Pasteur pipets and spitting in all my beakers after I wash them. Perhaps santa’s elves are secretly coming in and switching my regular sodium acetate with folger’s potassium acetate chrystals to see if I notice.   I bet that’s it…I could have been in the running for a nobel prize right now if it weren’t for those little imps screwing things up all the time. Remember, “Its not paranoia if they really are out to get you.” Patrick OUT!!!

The Spirit of Christmas

So I was cleaning out my bedroom the other day and of course I found all the things I didn’t know were missing until I started to clean up. Most notable was about $50 in already rolled change from who knows when (which of course will stay in that state unused for some time) and a pile of gift certificates and gift cards from birthdays and Christmases past. I wonder if I have already reached the stage of life where I don’t really have wants. I can remember being a kid and having wants for things…wants that were so strong they certainly felt like needs. Those things gradually became less and less and as I could begin to afford my own “wants” I  didn’t want anywhere near as much. Now, I accumulate acquisitive power in the form of gift cards that I don’t use because I can never decide what I might want or need. Sure, I buy books every so often and read them once or twice. I buy clothes too…but pretty much only when they have moved from being a want to being a need in the most literal sense. The internet has essentially negated my need for both music and movies. I don’t really play games anywhere near as much as I used to and I have only limited hobbies. I do like camping but I’ve reached a point there where unless I decide I’m going to summit everest or thru-hike the AT…I don’t need anything further unless something happens to break. I guess that means I’m the kind of person who that whole “ a donation has been made in your name to [insert name of favorite charity here]” kind of a gift is really pretty good. I think a small part of it is that I’m pretty particular about the things I spend money on. I buy very little for myself without research of some sort or another though I really don’t like shopping and I hate the feeling of buyer’s remorse. This means that I don’t buy things at all frivously and so a gift often feels foreign because its someone elses interpretation of what I might want but the silly thing is that I want so very little that most gifts would never match up. That makes receiving gifts always a bit unsatisfying and I worry that even the donation gift could leave me feeling the same way. Person A says “I didn’t know what to give you so we made a donation to the ASPCA.” I say “Oh that’s great…they do good work.” In my head I think, “Wow, helping animals is nice but we have people that need help too…a donation to Catholic charities would have been better because they have lower overhead and do a good job of helping people.” I suppose its all in the spirit of giving and I shouldn’t be so particular and I don’t want to totally withdraw from Christmas gift giving (though that would honestly suit me just fine). I do enjoy giving gifts when I have the means to but I run into the same problems…I insist on placing the same restrictive rules onto gifts given as I would place on items purchased for myself or items received as a gift. Carefully thought out to provide maximum benefit…trivial presents always seem worse to me than none at all. I know some of you are saying, “it’s the thought that counts.” I totally get that mentality…I just can’t do it. In my twisted Christmas world, I need it to work out both ways. I need the gift to match the thought…something that sends a message. Because even gift giving isn’t altruistic in its entirety…we as people do derive some joy out of making others happy and a crappy gift doesn’t allow me to reap that particular reward. I don’t wanted feigned happiness…I want the real thing and that’s tough to do. So with that said…my Christmas list is pretty empty this year. In case you are really desperate to get me something, I’m a big fan of the following charities and non-profits, a gift to them will make them happy, me happy, and you happy

 

Habitat for Humanity

Boston Foundation

Disabled American Veterans Charitable Service Trust

CARE

Doctors Without Borders

Catholic Charties USA

 

Happy chrismahanukwanzaa! Patrick OUT!!!

 

Love Gone Bad

Love Gone Bad

 

So you need to read the story above for this to make any sense…and look at the pictures. When I first read the story, I thought the world had turned upside down. 35 year old man, refuses sex with 19 year old girlfriend who responds by stabbing him in the face. What??? Then I saw the pictures and I understood entirely. If that woman came to me looking for some action, I might just pull a Lorena Bobbitt on myself. Furthermore, what that woman could possibly see in that guy…I will never know? I don’t think this is a calista flockhart- Harrison ford kind of thing going on here. It did raise a question though, is it hard to clean blood out of the carpet in a double-wide. Patrick OUT!!!

 

Behind my Back

So it came to my attention recently in conversations with my advisor (read: boss) at work that her and other faculty friends of her’s (other people on my committee) talk about my personal life behind my back. Perhaps I’m over reacting a bit but I don’t think that’s really appropriate. Sure its probably my fault for divulging information to one of them but even so, isn’t it an unspoken rule that such conversations remain to some degree privelaged. The incident in question was in regards to the dissolution of the relationship between myself and a long-time girlfriend. One faculty member who was passingly familiar with my relationship status asked how things were going. Not wanting to be rude I gave her the unfortunate breakdown and she has now told another faculty member possibly more than that. Don’t these people have hobbies they could be attending to…better science to be coming up with. No, instead they concern themselves with my personal life and see it fit to bring up sore subjects at work. I have friends for a reason and I have a boss for a reason…they really don’t need to be the same person. If they were to be the same person…that’s really my choice. Also, if you’re going to talk behind my back don’t say things to me that make it totally clear that you have done so. Gossip all you like but keep it out of my earshot. Done. Patrick OUT!!!

Thanksgiving

So this is a delayed post because I’ve been really busy lately. Thanksgiving has passed…my favorite holiday of them all. I ended up spending it in Maryland with my family and my brother-in-law’s family. It was good to see my sister again (it had been quite a while) and to spend time with the two families together. I longed a little for my own families version of thanksgiving…though this was pretty similar…I guess most peoples would be pretty similar but I am such a creature of habit that even small perturbations can screw with my head a little. On thanksgiving morning, I ran a 5k for the first time…actually I had run that distance twice before the actual day but it was the first time competitively. I was a tad bit slower than I had hoped but I’m going to chalk that up to morning tiredness and cold air to start. I must admit though that I felt pretty good afterwards…I’m not sure if it was the endorphins released by the running or the cold cheap beer that found its way in to my hands within about 10 minutes of finishing…could have also been the second (or third or fourth) beer that did it. Either way, thanksgiving started out great. All in all, the rest of the day was pretty low key…just as I would like it. I did have to bite my tongue and sit on my hands a bit as dinner was being made. I can be a bit of a “back seat” chef at times and I was doing my best to not be critical of anything. On Friday we all went and saw the new James Bond movie (which I had already seen but was actually better the second time). Pretty enjoyable all in all…we then came home and ate some more and then a bit more. We had turkey croquettes made from the previous days leftovers which were really quite phenomenal and have inspired me to someday but a deep fryer if for no other purpose than making turkey croquettes and possibly deep fried oreos (which are truly about as delicious as they sound gross). After all the eating was finished I was pleased to also see that I had not gained more than a pound. I’m not sure where those calories went but I am glad they didn’t find their way someplace unpleasant. Bring on Christmas…and lights. Patrick OUT!!!

Why the internet was invented.

http://bacontoday.com/

Nuf said

Patrick OUT!!!

Tree Lighting

So I was involved in a conversation on campus yesterday about the prospect of having “holiday lighting” in various trees for the holiday season. People of some authority for such things decided, in my presence, that they would not be putting forward any recommendation on the matter for fear of offending certain groups with the potentially religious symbolism of lights. WHAT?!?! I know this topic has been done before but seriously. Having lights on trees in December is to Christmas as a large bunny with chocolate eggs is to The Passion. In short, its not religious at all. And besides that, why do people continually have a right to not be offended by such things. I don’t believe in god so much anymore…ok really not at all but I do believe in things that look nice…like little lights in snow covered trees. Not once have I looked at such a tree (even one’s with angels at the top and present underneath) and reconsidered my faith or lack there of. By all rights, the Christmas tree was a tradition of Germanic pagans that was co-opted by Christians for their own far out symbolic purposes. Even so, if you are jewish muslim, bahai, hindu, buddhist, sihk, Zoroastrian, Rastafarian, or even if you believe in the church of the flying spaghetti monster like me…there would never be anything even slightly offensive about little lights hung in a tree on a cold dark winter night. I suppose it all boils down to me being the atheist that says merry Christmas…and happy hannukah, and all the rest of it because these holidays are no longer religious for most of us. They are a chance to exercise our credit cards and more importantly be with family and friends (because we need an excuse to do these things now). Lights in trees is a celebration of just that…a time of year when a good portion of the population should be just a little bit happier despite the bitter cold and bad fruit cake making the rounds. I for one am offended that there will not be lights in trees on campus…why don’t they respect my rights…is it because of all the faiths, mine is the only one that definitely doesn’t have a god on its side??? Patrick OUT!!!

Trivial Matters

So last night I went to my weekly trivia night in Cambridge. That Wednesday night has become the highlight of my week. Typically a Wednesday goes something like this…I get to work and think, “wow, I have not gotten a lot done this week.” And then I remember that on Friday I have my usual meeting with my advisors where I get to justify my existence through the presentation of data. (Astute readers will rightly surmise that I have actually gotten things done this week…hence the blog entry on a Thursday at work.) But anyways, Wednesday is usually that day where I put nose to the grindstone and try to churn something out that looks good enough to pass as science. The whole day, I’m really thinking about going to trivia in the evening. Something about it just really appeals to me…always has I suppose. Its like being on a trimmed down version of jeopardy with people that aren’t quite as smart (gives me a real shot at winning) and furthermore the addition of alcohol (also gives me a real shot at winning…assuming the drink is in someone else’s hand). Of course, my overly competitive spirit kicks in mightily but unlike other things even a losing night was still a night spent with friends so it is never really all bad. Lastly, the questions give me a mental excuse to spend my time on things less worldly…I’m not watching football and drinking beer…I’m doing research for next week. Watching reruns of mash…there might be a question about trapper john this week and I need to be prepared. Of course they never have any questions about the genetic engineering of neutraceuticals or the oxidative elicitation of secondary metabolites (my research topics for those not paying attention) so I probably shouldn’t waste my time with those things Thursday – Tuesday…of course they have never had a question on blogging either, Patrick OUT!!!

X-Mass Time is Here Again

So, I guess its appropriate that with the election of the Obamessiah, that one of my usual classic rock stations is already playing Christmas music. This is totally unnecessary. Why on earth would we want to listen to this musical dribble before even thanksgiving has reared its turkey laden head. Unfortunately, the station is one of my car radio presets and so now as I’m switching through stations on the way to and from work I am continually accosted by the sounds of jingle bell rock. Don’t get me wrong, I liked that song…when I was 6. Now, I have heard it at the very least (in bits and pieces) no fewer than 5 times over the last week. Add in some Johnny mathis and a little “You’re a mean one…Mr. Grinch” and I’m about ready to pull out of all holiday celebrations in general. I don’t want to come across as a holiday miser who is bent on destroying a joyous time for everyone else but it just seems that we should give each season its due. I don’t understand why we should devote 2 months of music to Christmas, a full 1/6^th of the musical year. What if we had other holidays treated like this. How about 2 months of monster mash and giant purple people eater…or 2 months of lee greenwood and god bless the USA around every july 4^th. Actually I take that back, we already have that on most country stations for 12 months a year. But seriously, the bunny hop for two months in april doesn’t sound too appealing but we can get away with frosty the snowman until the cows come home. I want holiday equality. Much like my definitions for equality in society, it means that we can all be equally miserable…thus a moratorium on Christmas carols more than 2 weeks from said holiday is in order. Two weeks is sufficient to get ramped up into the holiday spirit and toasted for all the holiday parties where said songs will be played on a loop as if we couldn’t get enough of them already. Ba Humbug and a happy new year. Patrick OUT!!!

Election Day

So its finally election day in America. After almost 2 years of posturing, campaigning, fundraising, debating and ass kissing, it comes down to what is looking like a major blow-out. I voted this morning…actually I didn’t vote…or maybe I did. I didn’t vote for president. I really wanted to…I even feel a little guilty about not filling in a circle. I just could not in good conscience vote for any of them. I really have an extraordinary apathy towards the whole thing. I don’t believe that the world would end regardless of which one of them wins but I also don’t think that either of them is going to be particularly strong. I will criticize whoever is in office without mercy and because but now I can never honestly say… “don’t blame me I voted for the other one (not barack obama here)”. I was truly more interested in our ballot questions in Massachusetts particularly the state income tax (which I voted to keep…though it doesn’t really matter and I kind of wish it was gone but only if they promised not to raise taxes elsewhere) and the decriminalization of marijuana. That one seems to be pretty much common sense…what kind of a country puts someone in jail for getting a little high but calls it a domestic disturbance when a drunk man or woman beats their spouse. Alcohol and Marijuana are the same in my book, similar dangers to over-use and similar though limited benefits. The difference is that one is illegal and the other is advertised more than any other product (except maybe politicians). Its time the state take a hard look at itself and end the prohibition era teetotalers control  on our existence. And don’t give me that “gateway drug” stuff either. A study by the RAND corporation (no hippy bullshiters here) found no causal link or gateway phenomenon to link marijuana use with increased incidence in the use of heroin or cocaine. I’ve also heard that the 1 ounce limit is too high. Well that may be a lot for some people and maybe even enough to consider selling it but we need to have a law that applies to everyone and that one ounce might not get  Tommy Chong or Snoopp Dogg through a summer afternoon. Plus, think of the economic benefit to vending machine suppliers and 24hr convenience store owners…lets vote pot in for them. Patrick OUT!!!

Douche OFF!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

-Patrick Out!!!

Present

Can't lose: Obama backs Rays, Phillies

 

So it seems Barack, once again, just can’t make up his mind. He has no endorsed both the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays…both present in swing states. This is the sports equivalent of voting “present” rather than taking a stand on the issue. While this is clearly not as bad as Rudy Giuliani endorsing both the red sox and the Yankees…its right up there. I that politicians should not answer questions of sports support any further. They should reply to all queries with, “I’m too busy saving the world to watch sports…but I hear the Yankees suck (and for the first time in quite a number of years…this statement was both emotionally AND factually true)”. In stead, they take a wishy washy stance on team support to try and appeal to everyone…no good. In America, we have teams we love and teams we hate and there is no getting around that. As a New Englander, its my job to hate the Yankees, the lakers, the colts (and jets) and the canadiens…I think I do it well. On a local level, a politician should be the biggest sports fan around…it shows he/she’s folksy and down to earth. On a national level, a politician needs to be beyond that. They need to be beyond that entirely and either take a firm stance against a universally hated team or not say anything at all. For Obama, a good choice in this matter unfortunately would probably be to voice disgust for the patriots…a team/coach not very well liked in the rest of the country. I can hear Rush Limbaugh though, “Obama hates the patriots…un-American, terrorist loving, liberal whiner??? You decide!” I guess that might be a bad move. You can always go after peyton manning…who really likes that guy and his hyper over exposed ad man persona...playing for a team without a winning record with a younger brother who is quickly proving to be a better QB than the old guy. I will do my part and not “vote present” and say…I hate the RAYS!!! If I ever run for office this might come back to haunt me but I just think it’s the right thing to do. Patrick OUT!!!

 

Spoiled Rotten

So as I was driving home yesterday listening to the red sox get beaten like a rented mule…I was honestly thinking to myself, what if they don’t win the world series? What if the patriots don’t win the superbowl? What if the Celtics can’t repeat their championship? Then I remembered…oh yea, then we would be like sports fans in every other city that just hope for that once or twice in a lifetime occurrence where their cities team will win the championship in maybe ONE sport. How quickly I was able to forget about the 86 years (granted I only experienced 21 years) of red sox misery and Ruthian curses. Or the days when the patriots looked like the JV squad of a high school in Alaska…days when people were embarrassed to say they were going to Foxboro on a Sunday. Now, we have championship banners everywhere, pat’s fans pay the highest prices in the league to see their team and have sold out every game since 1994, the red sox have more than 470 consecutive sell-outs at home (streak started in 2003) more than any other team EVER. Even the Celtics, who were actually respectable when I was a kid managed to channel former glory and win a title. All that being said…I’m still a bit disappointed this year in how things are turning out, I guess making the play-offs just isn’t enough anymore. There’s always next year, Patrick OUT!!!

Dirty Politics

I know I said I was done with the campaign but it has once again reeled me back in. I’ll admit that I watched the last debate, of course I’ve already decided to vote for Bob Barr but that’s besides the point. I was hoping that there would be some glimmer of hope from either side…ya know, some idea that the country couldn’t do without. I was sadly disappointed, from Obama we get more of the same, no game changer…no finishing move…no nothing. From McCain, an announcement that his administration would direct the treasury to buy up bad mortgages and renegotiate (i.e replacing ARMs with fixed rates) at a net cost to John Q. Public. So let me get this straight…the “conservative” candidate wants to take more of my money to bail out people who got themselves into irresponsible mortgages? Right. I’ve pretty much given up on the economy at this point and just thank my stars that I wasn’t planning on retiring any time soon and don’t have any of my personal wealth tied up in home values. On an entirely different front, news that ACORN has been fraudulently registering voters. Apparently dirty politics extends beyond the big bad republican party to a left-wing get out the vote group. Listening to the radio someone commented that just because the registrations were fraudulent doesn’t mean that votes will be cast because dead people can’t come out and vote but since these same groups also oppose the usage of ID checks at polling stations…I could go vote as a dead person. Actually, in casting a vote for Bob Barr…I am voting as a dead person. What a downer that is. My favorite thing about ACORN is their public platform of supporting the “living-wage” increases and the applying for exemption in California from having to pay their own workers minimum wage. Apparently, if their employees made minimum wage then they wouldn’t be able to empathize with the poor people they serve. Right. So what do we learn from all this…ACORN employees break the law and are apparently really stupid to be working for this organization in the first place. Well, I’m off to go register my great grand-parents to vote…they may not have been citizens and they may not still be alive but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t vote Barr in 2008 if they could…let their voices be heard. Si se puede! Si se puede! Patrick OUT!!!

Apocalypto

No, not a movie review. Something far worse than a Mel Gibson production is on tap for the US. The mortgage and banking crisis has come upon us and the world is at stake. The questions become…what can be done and who is to blame. I suppose, maybe who is to blame is a bit vindictive on my part rather the question is how can we avoid this happening in the future. So we will address that first…in my opinion (as an amateur economist with no formal training whatsoever…except for one semester of college), the problem stems back to a fundamental shift in the secondary mortgage market way back in 1999 when the Clinton administration in its infinite wisdom pushed fannie mae and Freddie mac to take on more of the sub-prime mortgage market to make for more affordable housing for low-income families. Now don’t get me wrong…as someone of suitably low-income, I have at least a basic understanding of paying bills and wanting things that you can’t afford. I would love to own a home…but I know that I can’t afford that right now. Unfortunately, the democrats in this country don’t see the logic of capitalism in the sub-prime market. The fundamental idea is that these people were getting high interest rates to compensate for the highly increased risk that they would default on their loans and the underlying financial instrument would become drastically undervalued. The value being lost not only in the process of foreclosure (very costly for banks, loss of payments and interest, insurance etc.) but also in the absolute loss of value that occurs when a property is foreclosed upon (vandalism, surrounding property value decline, and increased crime). So we had a system where banks, rightly decided it was best to avoid giving loans to people who could likely not pay them back. But the government stepped in with a social engineering approach and said, we need to give money to people and allow for banks to make bad investments with implicit assurance that the government will bail them out. Well, as the Rev. Jeremiah Wright said…”America’s chickens are coming home to roost.” Now, I don’t mean to put this squarely on the shoulders of the Clinton administration, because on the other side of things are greedy investors who look only to profits and corporate success in the short term. Thus we have a perfect storm of interests coming together in a massive collision. They turned wall street into the LHC of finance. We have on the left, social engineering without mind for reality, and on the right short sighted greed also without mind for reality. Push them together and wait 10 years and we get a massive explosion of long standing financial powerhouses. Now the super sensitive detectors, (i.e. the public) have become aware of the fragile underlying particles…sub-prime mortgages. Unfortunately, unlike the elusive Higgs-Boson this will be staring us in the face for quite some time. With all these people worried about a black hole emerging from CERN, after watching the aftermath of this collision I now wonder if maybe they’re right. Patrick OUT!!!

 

NY Time 2003

NY TIMES 1999

LHC/CERN

Rev. Wright

A Long Couple Days

So it has come to pass after three years of work on a variety of topics that my thesis might not bear the fruit that we thought it would. This of course has been on my mind for some time and as such, I needed a back-up of sorts. In this line of thought, I endeavored to find a topic that was both useful and suitably interesting to warrant more of my time. Without getting into too much science, approximately 11-12 months ago I found a topic and approached my supervisors only to be told to put it on hold and work on my own things. Of course this was disappointing and I kept on with my old work all the while reminding them of the work that could be done. Just recently, the work that I had proposed the year prior was actually completed…by another group…who is publishing their work. Wouldn’t ya know…their results were just as I predicted they might be. Ugh, so the weekend was spent mostly being disappointed with the Patriots and racking my brain for scientific ideas that might constitute a suitable plan B that would allow me to earn a PhD without another 4 years of work thrown in on top. A meeting this morning did a little to get me on the right track but I still find myself frustrated at being scooped on account of the ineptitude of those above me. I suppose its par for the course sometimes but its really just not right. All in all, a rough couple of days over the past week that have truly tried my patience. Of course now, I have a lot of work to do in my attempt to right the good ship PhD. What I really need now is a muffin top. Mmmmm Patrick OUT!!!

Free Food

So for all the shit that we put up with in the life limbo we call grad school...we certainly do get a fair amount of free food. Granted its all left over food from department or company meetings but I'll take what I can get. Its not every job in the world where you get to feel brilliant on occasion and work with equipment that costs more than some peoples homes and then you get to scrounge for food like a homeless person all in the same day. I am at a particular advantage in the scoring of free food. Our lab lays nicely neighboring the most often used conference room in the building and thus the opportunity for superior surveillance. Someone always knows when food is being brought in and how many people there are to eat it...thus we get a good lay of the land. Today was breakfast, a bagel and cream cheese and a few muffin tops. I grabbed a corn muffin top and was thoroughly impressed...for WPI food, this was pretty damn good. It got me thinking, if muffin tops are so good then we do we even bother with regular old muffins. For those of you not in with the pre-noon pastry patter, a muffin top is exactly as it sounds...its all the goodness of the carefully caramelized conspicuously crisp muffin top without that boring cake like bottom portion to ruin it all. The tend to be pretty wide and flat and very delicious. Truly they are a superior gastronomic goody. So back again to why we even bother with the regular muffins in the first place...the only thing I can think of is tradition and a whole lot of regular muffin pans lying around. Imagine the stock piles of aluminum muffin pans that would result if everyone discovered these little luxuries. People would be giving away used muffin pans like grandma's fruitcake at Christmas. Of course even a muffin top pan has a little bit of a base sticking out beneath the sumptuously sweet snack above...if only we could rid ourselves of that bit o' boringness. Imagine, a muffin pancake combination that was the shape of a pancake but baked like a muffin...does such a thing exist...i don't know. If it doesn't I've just invented it and this post serves as proof of my intellectual claim to it from here on out. Off to work on a recipe...or maybe just get another bagel before the vultures arrive. Patrick OUT!!!

Alliteration count: 13

So maybe its not all bad

So its been a while since I last posted. I'm sure you'll understand that I had to recover mentally from the loss of Tom Brady for the season. It was is if all my hopes for a redeeming season with a super bowl victory to top off a flawless season were dashed in an instant of torn tendon. Then...the unthinkable...trusting Matt Cassell with guiding the team. While I wasn't ready to throw in the towel on the season quite yet...Cassel certainly did not inspire much confidence. What little I saw of him during the preseason made me wonder why they bothered keeping him around. Looking back I still wonder what was going on there. Was that bill belichek screwing up or was it genius? I guess there is a part of me that wants to continue the idolization of the great football genius. Perhaps he was just trying out all the plays he wasn't sure would work...maybe he didn't want to give his secrets away during games that don't count...maybe he wanted to instill a sense of humilty in a team that won 18 games in a row last year. I don't know...maybe he just played too many bench players and they didn't try very hard. I guess I really don't care because now Mr. Cassell seems to be working out OK. I guess its hard to really suck when you've got the kind of supporting cast that he does...including for the first time since correy dillon left that we've had a real running game. Certainly the game seemed quite a bit more balanced this sunday than we have grown accustomed to watching the brady era. Its better though...I think that now games will be interesting to watch...we will need a more complete game. Everything is in play now and no singular football savior is going to come from behind with a masterfully orchestrated two minute drill. 2-0 isn't a bad way to start...i just hope that this is the real deal and that we aren't destined to return to preseason form under the young one's guidance. Patrick OUT!!!

Conventions I'm Through with You

Its official, I have had my fill of political conventions and the media circus that surrounds them. I guess you could say that my political love affair with the presidential election has now ended. I am removing its number from my cell phone, ending my Facebook friendship, and erasing its birthday from my calendar. Of course, I know that in a few months after all the commotion has died down and the vote gets closer that the 527s will woo me back and I will rekindle this relationship that has done me nothing but harm and sapped valuable productivity from my daily life. So for now, we are done. I can't take anymore of the incessant nagging for votes, the hate speech and the yelling. All the while, there is this sinking feeling that these political parties are cheating on me. Now I know, I haven't always been loyal either but I just dont feel special anymore. I want to be loved for who I am and not forced into the mold of a perfect republican or democrat, one demographic or another. I think we just need some time apart, maybe I will vote green or libertarian this go around. Ralph Nader might be my rebound relationship. I need a couple of one-night stands with the communist party or the "Guns and Dope" party. Something to get my mind off where this relationship has gone. I know its been a long road and I stuck it through with clinton and now bush but I'm not sure I can take anymore without a little more respect coming the other way. So to you 2008 election I say, "Its time to go our separate ways...

So I'll be gone 'til November
Said I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone 'til November
Yo, tell my girl, yo, I'll be gone 'til November
January, February, March, April, May
I see you cryin', but girl, I can't stay
I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone 'til November"

-Wyclef

Patrick OUT!!!