So close yet so far

So it happened again...I almost became a hockey fan. This has happened perhaps 10-15 times over my 25 years on earth. I sit down and watch a game and think, "Man, this is pretty cool...why don't I watch this all the time." Then I get wrapped up in something whether it be the return of ray bourque to the garden for the last time (I was actually at that game), UMass making it to the frozen four, or most recently the Bruin pushing a game 7 against the montreal canadiens (otherwise known as the Yankees of Canada). Of course, I was let down once again as the bruins get beaten like a rented mule and are forced to settle for eating snow cones made from the shavings created by the Habs goalie. Alas, it was not meant to be. All hope is not lost though, the Red sox swept a four game series against the Texas rangers which is pretty good and they do continue to look better as the season goes on. In other news, I was in the car with elsa this afternoon and she casually looked over and said, "Its such a nice day, I want to drive your car without a top." I thought this was a little forward of her but if she wants to pull a lady godiva on me...who am I to complain. Of course, she meant that she wanted to drive the car without its top...which of course is a bit more reasonable. What was really a bit unreasonable was the movie "300" to which I promised a faithful review. In the interest of full disclosure, I hated the movie Sin City which more than a few people told me was similar to "300." Both being Frank Miller (I think) creations. Actually, I should probably clarify the second to last statement...I hated the plot of sin city...actually I hated the lack of plot in sin city. It was like one neat visual sequence after another and then a shoddy half-assed attempt at linking them together. The movie was brimming with star power which is what first drew me to it but I was soooo let down by the whole thing. On the other hand, it did look cool and 300 looks cool too but in a different way. I watched 300 and all I could think of was that if the ancient greeks had blockbusters, 300 would be to the spartans what independence day was to 14-18 year old boys in the United States. By that I mean, its a hyper action movie with soooo many glossed over intricacies in favor of rock 'em sock 'em action that you really don't notice until after its all over and you say to yourself...what was that. Its also crazily patriotic in that kind of fascist way...but for greeks. Of course, the antagonists in the movie are the persians who are one of three things, androgynous, disfigured, or mindless thugs (actually the "Immortals" reminded me of the "foot soldiers" from TMNT). Its never really explained how a rag tag bunch of freaks and mind numbingly dumb ground pounders got to conquer most of the western world but I guess you don't need to. The other side of things are the Spartans who are led by their king whose physique is like He-man. This of course, could also fit into the same category of movie right along side Independence day and 300 as the most masculine of movies. I mean seriously, "he-man" as if both "he" and "man" were not masculine enough on their own we need to combine them into a single over pumped individual. I'll save the rest of that rant for another post because I really am a fan of he man and want to do him justice. Back to the spartans that all have the physique of a greek god...or i guess a greek soldier but thats somewhat circular. Anyways, they are all in impeccable shape and if they were wearing purple spandex underwear you could see them in the WWF next week. Apparently, in between building great monuments and worshipping at the oracles, the greeks had a lot of time to lift weights and drink protein shakes. Also, I could have sworn in the back I saw Jose Canseco and Brian McNamee...maybe that was just me. I spent most of the movie feeling brutally inadequate at the CGI'd physical prowess being displayed on screen. Of course, that didn't stop me from having two beers and polishing off the last of a box of cheeze-its. There'll be time for the gym next week. My final verdict on the to look at but still trying to be too close to history and too far from reality to be of much worth. Patrick OUT!!!

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