Brad Pitt for President


Brad Pitt is meeting this week with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to talk about affordable housing and the damage caused to the gulf states by hurricane Katrina. Last week George Clooney got a private audience with President Obama to talk about Darfur. Are these people experts in these subjects? What could George possibly tell barack about Darfur that he didn’t already know. Does anyone really believe that the immense fact finding prowess of George Clooney will uncover information that the US State Department, CIA, USAID, the UN, or the Security council could not. Is he really the person we want reporting on this matter to the president? With Mr. Pitt’s visit I think he is gunning for a 2012 nomination. I would nominate Clooney but we’ve already had a lot of Georges for president and we’ve never had a brad. I can see the ticket now, Pitt – Clooney 2012. Then of course we could have the rest of the cast of oceans 11 as their cabinet members. But back to Mr. Pitt and his meeting…aren’t we past Katrina yet? How long does this stuff take? Wouldn’t it be quicker if he just adopted all of them…I bet Angelina would say it was OK.  To answer these questions, I did some searching and found a transcript of their meeting (ok, I know it hasn’t actually happened yet but I won’t have time to write this later)


B.P.: Good morning Madame Speaker

N.P: Good morning Brad its great to see you

B.P.: I’d like to talk with you about affordable housing

N.P.: I’m from san Francisco…I don’t know the first thing about affordable housing, so its great that you stopped by…I really like your mustache by the way.

B.P.: Thanks but can we get down to business, I’m not getting any younger of course I do in my new movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

N.P.: Oh, I haven’t seen that

B.P.: No problem, I’d also like to tell you the story of a couple I met in New Orleans that live in the 9th ward. Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s home was Snatch-ed away  by the Ocean’s 13 foot swells which has left them and their neighbor, The Mexican homeless.

N.P.: Who is that?

B.P.: The Mexican?

N.P.: Yes, behind you.

B.P.: Oh, I brought him with me to speak with you…Meet Joe Black

N.P.: Your name doesn’t sound very Mexican, Mr. Black

J.B.: Yes, I changed it after spending Seven Years in Tibet

N.P.: Oh I see…that’s wonderful

B.P.: Back to the issues…Mr. Blacks home once stood next to Babel street but now A River Runs Through It and he’s been waiting for such a long time for relief from the government.

N.P.: Has nothing come for you…what about the stimulus package from last autumn?

B.P.: That turned out to be not good enough…just a Legend of the Fall and now his two daughter Thelma and Louise have moved to Troy where they work in a Fight Club with Twelve Monkeys…truly the Devil’s Own

N.P.: My goodness…we should get right on this we need to clean out the government bureaucracy and eliminate the Sleepers on the job so we can speed up the recovery.

B.P.: Thanks Speaker Pelosi…I’ll have my people call your people.

N.P.: Peace out home slice.


I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down…thank goodness we have Brad fighting for the little people. Patrick OUT!!!


1 comment:

Marie said...

Very witty, Patrick. :)

But: "Aren’t we past Katrina yet? How long does this stuff take?"

If I hadn't been involved with New Orleans volunteering/recovery efforts, I might say the same thing. But I can tell you from TAing a course on the area, personal experience, and conversations with teams spearheading relief efforts there that recovery could take 3-7 years. That was in spring of 2006. I have been there three times since Katrina hit, and progress is slow but progress is being made. Some of this is due to red tape and poor management, and some of it is due to the magnitude and extent of the damage. Either way, when someone referred to the place as the "Baghdad of America" in the year following the storm, I thought that was actually one of the most apt descriptions I'd heard.

You cannot imagine the devastation based on photos alone, but I've seen some powerful ones. If you've ever been to a city that's been ravaged by war, you might have a better idea of the destruction because it is so all-encompassing and widespread. Certainly things like boats in median strips, high-rise office windows, dead bodies (people and pets) have been cleaned up and cleared away. But when you've got whole neighborhoods, acres of them, in varying degrees of strucural damage; properties that are not just residential but those that serve community needs such as schools and post offices, and commerical properties/local businesses...on a citywide scale, it's tremendous. And that's just New Orleans - Katrina affected more than just that city - the surrounding counties (parishes) as well coastal communities in Mississippi (Biloxi, Gulfport) were especially hard hit.

I don't know - I don't think the media can accurately convey the situation and I think many people are still frustrated or just don't understand the length of a true recovery.

But to put it in some perspective, also consider how long it took (is taking?) for clean-up, construction, and recovery of Ground Zero in New York City.

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